This past New Years eve, I did what I am supposed to do, I made New Year Resolutions. It wasn't a difficult chore, I have made the same ones for years.
#1 I vowed to eat healthier. I haven't started yet because I haven't run out of excuses not to.
#2 I am sincere about losing some weight. I have made this vow for 15 years. I am proud to say I am achieveing this resolution. I want to lose 40 pounds and at my present rate of weight loss will have met that goal in 2045.
#3 I promised to spend more time with my family. This is also working. I see my family more often, mostly because I am too fat to accomplish normal tasks without help.
#4 I resolved to exercise more to aid in my quest to be healthier overall. Just bending over to tie my shoes is strenuous enough to make me break out in a sweat. I have to stretch before I can roll my ass out of bed in the morning. Getting up 3 times in the middle of the night to pee is more than enough exercise. So, I figure I am well on my way to exceeding this resolution.
#5 New this year is that I resolve to not continue to make these stupid resolutions ever again. It is such a blow to my ego.
Ok, enough about this crap. I need a cookie.
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